I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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