I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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