Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
