A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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