My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
