Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize