Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
