I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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