New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
