The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
