im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize