Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
