it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
