you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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