can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
soo... how was my night?
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