Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
