it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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