you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
