Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
