as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
