she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
