Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize