Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
worst night to have a conscience
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
