office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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