Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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