O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you didnt know i had herpes?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
