I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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