i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
