you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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