Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
