I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize
