Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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