Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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