he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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