You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
