He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
