VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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