He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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