Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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