Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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