So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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