Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize