I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
