If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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