I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
