eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it was like eating out sand paper
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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