so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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