it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
