I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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