I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
