Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
