My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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