This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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