Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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