Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
