I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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