found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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