why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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