i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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