well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it's like heaven, but drunker
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
