Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
