I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
