Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He kissed a someone with a penis
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
