did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
