he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
