My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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