Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize