good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
