I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
