Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
