Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
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I thought you were going to say you ate it. Threw up in my mouth a little.
Dude, beware of the Hamburglar.
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