I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
