i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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