when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
