so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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