Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize