Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
