That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
