I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
